Monday, May 23, 2011

On My Honor...

Giraffe Bling Monogrammed Flip-Flops

Summer is here, so please ladies take the pledge with me... I'm sorry to say I do not know the original author, because they certainly deserve credit for bringing attention to this very serious matter.

Open Toed Shoe Pledge... 

 Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
MY SISTERS (The Open Toed Shoe Pledge)
       As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toed shoes:

       I promise to always wear sandals that fit. 
My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, 
nor will my heels spill over the backs.  
And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out
between the straps.
      I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, 
intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
       I will sand down any mounds of skin before they
turn hard and yellow.
       I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
       I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend,
coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
       If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put.  I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
       I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on 
my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
       I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes.  This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me 
as I fall and break my ankle.
       I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages. If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soup, I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.
       I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.  Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
       I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide
or drag my feet while wearing them.
      I will promise to go my nail shop at least once per season and have a real pedicure
(they are about $30 and worth EVERY penny).
      I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is yuckier than dirty white sandals...
In the name of eternally cute feet, this I  do solemnly swear.

Vintage Strappy Stiletto Heels


Jordan said...

Haha, this is great ;D


Paige (Final Clothes-Out) said...

Aw man, I'm guilty of the touch-up-the-nailpolish-without-repainting. And it's only May.

Heidi said...

Love this! I could not agree more with this wonderful pledge!

Miss Meg said...

Awesome! and a reminder to book a pedicure soon!

Emma said...

Ok, this is hilarious! Living in Southern California means I can almost wear sandals year round ~ but that's a huge commitment to the nail salon!

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